One of my goals this month is to grow my self-confidence. I definitely think growing confidence takes longer than 30 days, but I wanted to use this month as a kick start to the process that will definitely evolve over time. I started thinking about confidence because I noticed I am constantly worried about what others are thinking around me and feeling often inferior to them. A lot of the time questioning myself – maybe you feel like this in certain situations as well. But, after a lot reflection I have realized a few things (these are very random FYI).
- First of all, we are all just people. If someone doesn’t like you or is judging you or is rude to you..that’s fine. There are plenty of other people out there who will think you’re great. “Confidence is not “They will like me.” Confidence is “I’ll be find if they don’t.”
- Stop comparing. Comparison is definitely (I think) one the the fastest ways to feel insecure. Nobody is you. “Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you are better than everyone, it’s walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.”
- I get SO nervous when I am new at something. I doubt myself. I feel scared! If you feel like this too remind yourself “Be brave enough to be bad at something new,” because everyone starts somewhere. Nobody woke up an expert at anything, they started where you are and worked for it. So, ALSO, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for making mistakes or asking questions.
- Validation. Honestly, a lot of the time I rely on compliments to make me feel more confident (which is something I’m trying to change). It always feels good to have someone tell you “you look pretty” or “you look skinny” but when you don’t hear it and starts make you doubt yourself or question how you look. You have to grow the feeling yourself. “Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful without needing someone to tell you.”
- Stick up for yourself. Start to expect to be treated well and with respect. I’m not just talking about from a significant other – I’m talking about from friends, bosses, co-workers, strangers etc. Like I said in #1, we are all just people. No one is better than than you. We create this ilusion that we are less than – you are not. You are as significant as the next person. “Do no harm but take no sh*t.”
These are just some of my thoughts from this month so far. I hope this helps someone who is struggling with self-confidence like I have been. I will add more to this as time goes on!
“Nothing is more attractive than quiet confidence.” XO