Validation from others, I think, is something we continuously seek as a society. We post videos, pictures, track followers, look at how many views we get, share life updates on Facebook (lol), tweet to be retweeted, etc., mostly for all the likes, comments, and messages we will receive in return. Of course, I do this myself as well. Lately, it has been on my mind and given me a feeling of emptiness. You see, if we continually need validation from others, we will never be fulfilled, or we might feel validated for a few minutes or hours, but it wears off.
Social media is a beautiful thing and a detriment. Beautiful in ways that it connects people for the better and can genuinely make an impact when it is used for good. A detriment because we always feel attached to it and that we have to share every “cool” thing we are doing or get a picture to post. Don’t get me wrong. I am fully aware I post a lot of boomerangs and videos/photos on my Instagram and Snap stories. But, when I sit back and think about WHY I do it, the reason seems so self – centered to me. Why does it matter if other people see what I am doing? There is the common saying now “pics or didn’t happen,” which is honestly such bs.
I rarely ever post pictures on my Instagram account. Like I stated before, on my Insta stories – yes – but not so much on my timeline. I have gotten more confident about this recently and have been posting more a little more frequently. But I don’t post a lot because I get nervous. I don’t want my followers zooming in and dissecting my pictures. I get worried about the number of comments or likes (because honestly, I don’t have that many followers, still WAY more than the ACTUAL people I know personally, though). We all post our best angles with good lighting, and the ones we think will garner a positive reaction and feedback. Have you ever wondered how much more you would post if the number of likes on a picture wasn’t visible? If the number of followers you had didn’t matter? If you weren’t searching for validation in the comments saying that you look SO good or the location you are at is SO beautiful.
I love genuine compliments and believe the tribe of people you surround yourself with should lift you. I think we are continually looking for validation in the wrong places. The validation needs to come from yourself. “When you depend on people to build you up, they’ll have the same power to break you down. You don’t need their validation to know your worth.”
Mainly what I am saying is don’t be afraid to post the picture you love, but it might not necessarily bring you the most likes. The highlight reels will never stop, but the validation needs to come from within. Whatever you do or post – do it because it makes you happy!! This message doesn’t only pertain to social media; it revolves around your body image, self – love, your career, your relationships, etc. I am 22, and I already feel so behind in my life and career. Why? Validate yourself. Don’t search somewhere else for it.
“When nobody else celebrates you, learn to celebrate yourself. When nobody else compliments you, then compliment yourself. It’s not up to other people to keep you encouraged. It is up to you. Encouragement should come from the inside.” XO